Obsession verdict:

 I love it 

idk if it was supposed to make me laugh but it definitely did. I wouldn't say it was super fucked up like people were saying but then again I've seen a lot of fucked up movies. this was definitely a good story and good acting. my bf posted about it and said it was like being in a relationship with me. past me. when I was going through it and going through a lot of mental issues with bipolar mania it definitely reminded me of myself in a lot of ways. the clinging to bfs and getting upset anytime they did anything without me, the freaking out and up and down moods. the psychotic meltdowns... her frowny face scene cracked me up tho. I think we are gonna rewatch it this weekend. it deserved the imdb rating it received for sure. 

I was scrolling around on my fyp and some girl showed up and I was literally wearing the same shirt as she was lmao so I commented and then I realized our hair was super similar. except she had a turquoise shade in hers. I won't ever use blue  again tho 💔 

^_______^

so toddler life is still kicking my ass. the other night she woke up and man i was beat. I was so tired and felt unwell... so not great we didnt get to see fireworks. I just laid around. so she woke up and just stood in the bathroom and wouldn't let me get her back to bed. I gave up and just sat on her couch and waited til she came in. I checked on her a couple of times and startled her when I did. I dont think she was all the way awake tbh. so finally after like 30 or so mins she came back in her room and laid on the floor. she passed out fast. idk what it is but she does this every night. she cries and gets up and does stuff like that or she does get back in bed. but for me it causes me to not get good sleep cuz once I am awakened I am stuck awake for a while. 

she wakes up and does and says new things every morning. she started using me and i instead of her name or babygirl. so instead of "babygirl wants a treat" its "I want a treat". she also keeps saying meow meow after stuff. "i want that meow meow". lol also she told the cat yesterday not to sniff her paint brushes "no cat that's dangerous". its sooooo funny and cuuuute. im so happy I had a girl cuz girls are so fun. she pretends to put makeup on and says she's getting her hair done 😭 😭 which i have an appt in 2 weeks but the week before that she has to go to her first dentist appt ever. I hope to god it goes well and she likes her dentist. its the same dentist my sister went to when she was a kid. so 🤞🏻

so i need to figure out how i can print out all of my blog posts. I want to do this gradually and make a book out of them. to give to baby girl when she is older and can read all about me and my life... shit that I've been thru. I want her to read. some of of it will need to x out cuz there are some thing that I dont think she ever needs to know but the majority of it i think she can read when she's older. i documented her entire time she was chillin' in my stomach. 😭 makes me emotional to think about. but I think that would be something special when shes way older to read.