terrible twos

 terrible twos has been hell. I have cried because I hate getting so mad at her and yelling at her. I feel so shitty after. I just need a real fucking break for real. so next Friday my mom is gonna watch her over night and were going to pick her up the next day. i wanna go out and spend a good night out having fun and not worrying about getting back in time etc. I havent had that since Sept when we went to Orlando to see one of my fave bands The Sleeping. I bought myself a new dress and everything. I plan to have a real fucking night out. whenever i get this put of my system I am good for many months. but I neeeeeed this. baby girl has been a lot. full blown screaming fits, crying and drooling and flipping out every night. every time we try and get her in and out of a car she messes around and climb all over the car and doesn't get in her seat or get out. sooo annoying I hate this phase. ahe doesn't sit in carts, she stands up and fights us on it. she runs in the street and takes off. its so scary and horribly frustrating. I haven't had the time to sit and blog like I want. I havent had a single moment to myself. i keep getting mad too cuz my bf falls asleep when im fighting her and putting her to bed. i got so mad last night over this. must be fucking grand to sleep without concern. I take care of her 90% of the time. like how about staying awake to be fair to the struggling parent.  I'd feel shitty falling asleep. I got mad about it last night. 

so my hair appt is next Friday then were gonna go out. 🥳 

personalized license plate

so went to the DMV today to get my plate replaced since my old one from my old car was "defaced" and I'd have gotten pulled over. so I went and got a new plate and then got a new one for my old car and am giving my old car to my mom. she said she wants to try and have it fixed up if so she'll keep it, if not we'll have to sell it. sad cuz its been with me since '09 and is my first car. I also got my personalized license plate finally. after wanting a specific personalized plate for over a decade I finally got it and it hasn't been taken! so good thing I didn't purchase it thru a 3rd party cuz I would have been paying 160. but at the dmv I paid 149 for all of it. soo apparently it takes a long ass time to get the plate after you've ordered it like up to 90 days. sucks so bad I want it 😫  my new car is gonna be so kawaii. it already is starting to feel like me. I love my car and finally am able to customize again.

7 yr anniversary & new car

we had our 7 yr anniversary which was nice at first but followed by some arguing 🙄 but we went to the Black Marlin for dinner and fuck it was good. but yea the drama was over him being a baby. whining like a bitch cuz we didn't stay out that long when I even asked him if we should text my.sister ti pick us up after we walk around downtown. but he told me no just message her from the restaurant so I did. my sister was there in 10 mins and he acted all salty cuz we didn't stay out longer. I didn't want to anyway. I wanted to go to dinner and pick up my baby after and go home and chill and watch something together. he apologized thr next day for acting like a baby over it. always apologizing the damage is done. whatever

so fast fwd. went down to del rey to look at a car for sale. I had gotten my inheritance money from my grandma and my father sent me 2k. I had to dip into my babys inheritance and felt shitty about it but my mom said she won't be needing it til shes 18 so I can just build it back up. so im poor now but at least I got a dope ass car. I got a Mazda CX-5 2019. it had 96k miles on it 😬 but I did much research and the Mazda CX-5 is such a reliable car going up to 250k with regular maintenance. so I made sure the past owner did its job by doing regular maintenance. car is fully loaded with sunroof and bose system. we even discovered it has a sub woofer in the back. so I am gonna rake good care of this vehicle im soo in love with it. we were told the price at the dealership was 19 almost 20k and said I can't afford that. so she won't to talk to manager about getting price down. as they do playing the fucking game. I ended up getting it down to 16750. so here we are 

getting a new car

well used but new to me. I was recently blessed and am looking now. I am getting a Mazda CX-5. small SUV that can fit Sophia nicely in the back seat. I was originally looking at Toyota hatchbacks but the backs too small. Toyota CHR is sluggish. so I googled what I need for my situations. I needed to fit a carseat nicely, don't like big vehicles and don't want one that's slow to accelerate and i was met with the Mazda CX-5. it even has sunroof and heated seats. u was looking at a Subaru Crosstrek but the ones I found i can't afford so my second choice was the Mazda. I am excited and nervous. I hate dealing with dealerships.