so i had the psychiatrist appt. she put me on Adderall for my horrible adhd and propanalol for my social anxiety. she told me to take the prop. as needed. I've been prescribed it before but never really used it so I tried it a couple of times when I took my daughter to the park. it helped i think. the adderall seems to really quiet my chattering, all over the place brain. it really helps so i can actually focus on whats needed to be focused on. see how this dr listens and prescribes you what you need without question. this dr is great. ill probably talk to her about still having depression aside from my adhd and social anxiety. to try and get on something to help that as well. I've been without meds for a while now and its time I got helped again. so here we are.

Saturday is pool fence day!! finally bitches. how long have I been harassing bf about this. so my dad is coming down, Z and bf are gonna be installing the pool gate. ill be taking my daughter to her swim lessons with my mom since hes busy with the gate.

Hopefully she'll be cool with the lessons if im in with her. 

she's been so hard to handle lately. very defiant and still having issues with her getting in car, carseat and getting out of the car. doesn't always listen about holding hands crossing streets. like this morning that fuck ass red car parked in my spot again at my mom's and I had to walk her and our wagon full of stuff across the street. so carrying all of that plus a defiant toddler dragging her across the road... sets me the fuck off. sigh so tiring 

bf had a show last Saturday and i stayed in. baby went to bed early and i chilled by myself. I treated it like my old days pre sophia where I'd listening to music have some drinks and play with makeup for pics. I was gonna try to stream again but was too busy having with with what I was doing as is. its something I needed honestly. Just time to myself